Kimberly Majeski
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Why Seminarians Should Spend Time in Strip Clubs

8/20/2013

8 Comments

 
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Before you delete me from your facebook feed; know that I’m not suggesting that we become patrons who broker in the buying and selling of the dignity of women, rather that we should become friends with people in the broken places of the world.

It occurred to me after several years of post-doctoral education, a myriad of multi colored, matted degrees framed on my wall, after producing dozens of syllabi and grading an untold number of theses and exegetical projects, it became clear that something was missing. I needed to get outside the ivy colored walls and I needed to do this on a regular and ritual basis.

For me it began with preaching on rotation at the local jail, singing and sharing sacred texts with women weeping in their orange jumpsuits, photos of their children hanging round their necks the night before Christmas. Today I lead a group of women who serve and share light and love with dancers in local strip clubs.

It seems imperative for those of us who have given ourselves over to the pursuit of God through academic preparation, for those who have committed to honor God with our minds believing study is the highest form of worship; it seems necessary that we take our theological constructs out into the world where they can be challenged, tried and made known.

We, who write theology and pen insights for biblical commentary, those of us who read the ancient languages and preach and exposit texts must also be found where real life happens, in the dark hovels of strip clubs and in the game rooms of the community centers, under the bridges in the tent cities. We must be found among real people, the ones who feel forgotten, unloved and condemned by this God we study, pursue and proclaim.

Every once in a while we should come to class smelling like stale beer and cheap perfume, giving away our sanitized selves to really be with people not so that we help them transform into upstanding suburbanites who tithe but because Jesus said he was in them, because part of what we need to know we can only learn from the least of these.

We need to get out and walk among the desperate, the lonely, the addicted and infirm, we need to explore whether what we’ve learned really holds up under the devastation of poverty and loss and crystal meth.

This is, after all what Jesus did, the incarnate One walked and talked and dined with the harlots, the sick and the poor. It is good for us then, for those of us who have decided to follow him into years of graduate education and sleepless nights with our coffee soaked souls and ever mounting debt into the meager salaries of a life spent in vocational ministry, for us  to be found doing what Jesus did so we strip away what is excess, all that is not needful and we find what is true, what is lasting, what remains, so that we remember why we starting studying in the first place.


8 Comments
Linda Tidwell
8/20/2013 07:03:20 am

It is hard to fight this war from a fort. Thanks for taking direction from God. We all should be reaching outward instead of inward.

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Kimberly link
8/20/2013 08:17:44 am

Thanks Linda! Good to hear from you and yes, we gotta get out there!! I had this overwhelming impression outside of a club the other night. My hand was on the door, I was so scared, afraid I'd be rejected, afraid I'd not be welcomed; it occurred to me that this is how my friends in the club might feel outside my church.

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Heather Long
8/20/2013 01:07:03 pm

Thank you for your obedience-enjoyed your comment about stripping away what it excess in order to be reminded why we are in ministry in the first place

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Josh link
8/20/2013 03:56:30 pm

A friend of mine shared this on facebook and I had a few comments. Please understand I am not being dismissive or flip. I was actually in seminary when I decided to leave the faith. Today my friends are either unrepentant non-Christians or pastors and missionaries with few in between. I often hear Christian friends say what you are saying and I would like you to comment on what I tell them.
Why is it assumed that everyone in a strip club is either desperate lonely or infirmed? Can't it just be a group of guys trying to have a good time without something being seriously wrong? This post reminds me of something my dad once said. That he was befriending gays to be a positive, Godly influence with the eventual purpose of them coming to Christ and leaving their gay lifestyle. I wondered how good of friends they would become knowing that he believes their actual being is immoral, disgusting and ends in hell. That would be like a white person befriending a black person but still believing they should use separate water fountains and bathrooms. If you go into the friendship thinking the person is desperate lonely and infirmed is that really a mutually satisfying relationship or are you just going to turn the person even farther away when they see you have an ulterior motive, which is never good for a new relationship.

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Kimberly link
8/20/2013 04:45:45 pm

Josh
You raise a good point here. We do become friends with the women in the club. We share our lives the good & bad, we eat & drink together& celebrate b'days & good grades on math exams. We pass no judgement, we don't ask them to chane, we love them where they are as they are just as God does. The point I'm trying to make is we need them, they're helping us bc X is in them. That said, I live in a small town where 20% of women live below the poverty line & I've never met a woman who dances to have a good time. Rather the women who I know work shifts at Walgreens during the day & rush to the club at night to pay the bills & feed their kids.

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Paul
8/21/2013 03:44:12 am

Josh,
Your point that befriending someone who is "immoral" simply to have a good influence is well taken. I have had this very discussion personally with a friend of mine who was trying to understand how we could be close friends when my core belief was that he was "a sinner and going to hell." As a Christian, we cannot come from a holier than thou position, but as a person who recognizes how terrible and unholy and sinful they are themselves. And with this recognition, how can we not share the source of the freedom, purpose, and joy that should be evident in our lives that is in the person of Jesus? God is the one who changes hearts, but he uses us to love others, despite what they've done or who they are, because that's what he did for us.

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Marlene
8/20/2014 05:12:00 am

Josh,
You asked, "Can't it just be a group of guys trying to have a good time without something being seriously wrong?"

If the guys were at a baseball game or a bowling ally, I would tend to agree that the guys are simply out to have a good time. When the location of the good time is a strip club, the answer is most certainly "no."

I have done a great deal of study about sexual addictions, which normally begin with "innocent" use of pornography, and can and often do progress to other illegal and horrifying activities. Beyond study, I work closely with the wives of sex addicts in support groups. Meanwhile, my husband works with men in addict accountability groups. The pain and relational ruin experienced and expressed by the men and women is absolutely incredible. The men trapped in the cycle of sexual addiction will tell you that visiting strip clubs is NOT about a group of guys just trying to have a good time. It is about very wounded men trying to medicate their personal pain with sexual activity, their "drug of choice." So, it is not "assumed that everyone in a strip club is either desperate lonely or infirmed." It is fact, based upon the technical research and personal experience of a large and wide range of scholars and the unschooled. Addicts wishing to recover, fight a huge battle to keep themselves out of strip clubs. When they find themselves there anyway, it is because they have lost that night's battle. This is not a "good time."

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Kimberly Butler
9/2/2013 03:50:49 am

I was especially struck by your comment, "Every once in a while we should come to class smelling like stale beer and cheap perfume, giving away our sanitized selves to really be with people not so that we help them transform into upstanding suburbanites who tithe but because Jesus said he was in them, because part of what we need to know we can only learn from the least of these." In part because I wholly agree with you, and in part because I feel like this is so difficult. It is not as difficult to think about befriending people in the manner in which you describe, as it is for me to not want to "help them transform into upstanding suburbanites who tithe." I think sometimes the most difficult part is not wanting or expecting others to be just like us. I attend church and sit in Sunday School with people you probably call friends. My husband has been your student. I am somewhat fearfully drawing interest in your ministry. Back home, I taught third grade in a Christian school and was church secretary and lived in "church world" for many years. Our circumstances became such that I had to get a second job waitressing at a local family restaurant. It was so difficult at first. I came home crying thinking I could not survive the atmosphere of cussing and cat-fights between my co-workers. I found that, although my new friends were not in as dire straits as those to whom you carry yourself, they were no less in need of Jesus. It was very eye opening. I still have a relationship with some of those today. It is still difficult not to want to "get them in church." Now, because of where I work, I see the same needs among the educated middle class, but find it much more difficult for these to see their own need. I find it hard to be bold. This has never been my nature. I would, although quite fearfully, welcome an experience such as yours - to learn to love the "unloved" more boldly and without expectation. Thank you for your words.

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Photo used under Creative Commons from garussell11
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