Kimberly Majeski




Scholar. Storyteller.
Activist.

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4/22/2012

Confessions of a Church Chick

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I have been thinking about the state of the church lately, about my own relationship to the One, Holy, Catholic, Apostolic faith, and my relationship to the church tradition in which I have been raised and nurtured for the whole of my life. I have been thinking about all those Sunday mornings sleep still in our eyes, a Merle Haggard song playing on the 8 track, my dad driving my sister and me to the little Church of God in Hermitage, Tennessee where he himself had worshipped as a boy.

Scholarship, the blogosphere and mainstream media agree these are trying times for the Christian Church for mainline and free, Baptist and Anglican, Methodist and Pentecostal. For the thirty-something crowd and generations younger, the church battered and besieged, has been found wanting;  marred by scandal, political agenda, and worse yet, the turning of a deaf ear to the poor and marginalized among us.  

I ponder the beginnings of my own tradition, born of Christ and Wesley and Holiness. This Free Church, this bastion of autonomy was conceived in Spirit by our pioneers as the inheritance of the New Testament. Though our beginnings were radical, a flame with justice and evangelism, the message carried on the backs of revival preaching women and men who floated up and down the rivers welcoming all into the family of God, we have not remembered our beginnings well. Today we are fractured and fragile; we are neither structured nor free; our leadership aches for the beauty of diversity.

For those of us who still stand on the inside of the brick and mortar structures where steeples press high into the heavens, perhaps it is incumbent upon us to look out into the world and confess what is true. We have worked hard to tame the fire and glory of the Gospel until we feel safe in our auditoriums built on the green hills of the suburbs. We need to confess that we’re sorry for being locked up inside ourselves for so long and return to the business of Christ, to the hard work of love.

I think about why I’m still here, why I always come back and it has nothing to do with doctrine or piety rather it has to do with love. As I look back on the formation of my own soul, I don’t remember a lot of sermons. I do not find finger prints of lessons or doctrinal dialogue in the red clay there.

What I do remember is Miss Ellie, the pastor’s, wife helping me out of the baptismal waters and wrapping me with a fluffy apricot towel. I remember Uncle Noah carrying candy in his pockets every Sunday and how he’d lean on his cane and offer you a caramel square just for asking politely. I remember Lori who took me on my first mission’s trip to the Andes Mountains; I remember leaving all the clothes we brought with us for the poor and needy there. I remember the names and faces and hearts of those who have stood with me through all the great moments and losses of my life. I remember love.

I find the more I grow the more I become concerned with little else. I have no time for keeping fastidiously to rules and regulations, I know now that I am simply unable to earn God’s favor; God’s love for me just is. I believe in grace that is deep and wide, just like the fountain in the song; I believe in the two hundred and twenty second chance, I believe that the workers who arrive late are paid the same wage as those who have been digging and planting and pressing in the fields all day long. I wonder if this was the message and banner of the Church would we find ourselves so lost today?

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2 Comments
Alyson Ferren link
4/23/2012 05:54:41 am

Ah, Kim, herein is my struggle. Not being in the "huddle" of the Church of God since last fall, I find that this is my struggle. I don't miss the structure or the doctrine as much as I am grieving the loss of what I loved growing up and that my kids will miss it as well. I remember church camp changing my life. I remember Oplis always trying to convince me that spaghetti grew on trees. I remember Ms. Nell and going to lunch at McKendree Towers, how she never went to the doctor, but just prayed and God took care of her. These connections were what kept me. The rules and such are what destroys those who don't have and know what we have and know. The Church of God, Anderson has some serious issues, and I honestly think that if churches were as concerned about loving each other - messy though it may be - and less concerned about their bylaws and traditions, that they would not be in the condition they are in currently. Love you, sister.

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Kimberly link
4/29/2012 01:27:06 am

Alyson,
Yes. We have some good memories, don't we? What a sweet and giving community we had to grow up in. I didn't know about your transition, praying for you as you move ahead, our roots go down deep but it is all God's church and yes, what defines us as such is our love. Praying with you sister as we all struggle to find our way. How's your Mama?

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Photo used under Creative Commons from garussell11
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